In today’s fast-paced and increasingly complex world, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the pressure to control everything. However, worrying about things outside our control can drain our energy and hinder our effectiveness.

The Stoic philosophers understood this principle centuries ago, teaching us that peace of mind comes from focusing on what we can control, rather than stressing over what we cannot. Psychologists have since built on this idea, introducing a framework that expands our perspective into three key areas of impact.

The Three Circles: Control, Influence, and Concern

The Three Circles framework offers a way to categorise the challenges and issues we face in life based on how much control or sway we can have over them.

These three categories are:

• Circle of Control: What you can directly control.

• Circle of Influence: What you can influence, but not control.

• Circle of Concern: What may concern or worry you, but you have no direct control over.

By distinguishing between these areas, we can better manage our time, energy, and emotional wellbeing. Here’s a breakdown of each circle:

1. Circle of Control

This circle represents things you have direct control over—your actions, decisions, and reactions. These are the areas where your choices make an immediate difference.

• Example: The time you wake up. You can set an alarm and create a morning routine that works for you.

• Example: Your thoughts and reactions. You can choose how to respond to a challenging situation, such as staying calm in a stressful conversation.

2. Circle of Influence

The Circle of Influence includes things you can't directly control, but you can still have an impact on through your actions, relationships, and communication. It involves your ability to affect others and create change in your environment.

• Example: A friend’s decision to attend a party. You can’t force them to go, but you can influence their decision through advice or expressing your feelings.

• Example: Your colleagues or team. You can't control their actions, but you can offer support, motivation, or guidance to positively influence the group dynamic.

3. Circle of Concern

The Circle of Concern encompasses issues that worry or trouble you but are beyond your control. These are often external factors that, while important, do not directly respond to your actions.

• Example: The weather. You may be concerned about whether it will rain on the day of your outdoor event, but ultimately, you can't change the forecast.

• Example: Global political situations or economic downturns. While they affect you, they are outside your sphere of complete control.

Applying the Three Circles to a Real-Life Scenario: The Job Interview

Let’s put this framework into practice by applying it to a real-life scenario, such as preparing for a job interview.

• Circle of Control: Focus on what you can directly influence. This includes preparing thoroughly for the interview by researching the company, practicing responses to common questions, dressing appropriately, and maintaining good body language.

• Circle of Influence: These are factors you can likely influence, but not fully control. You can shape the interviewer’s perception by demonstrating confidence, enthusiasm, and aligning your skills with the organisation’s needs.

• Circle of Concern: These are the factors that may concern you but are outside your control. You may worry about how many other candidates are applying, the interviewer's mood, or the company’s financial stability—but you cannot change these factors directly.

Key Takeaways

• Circle of Control: Focus your energy on what you can directly change or influence, such as your actions and reactions.

• Circle of Influence: Consider how you can positively impact others or your environment, even if you don’t have full control.

• Circle of Concern: Acknowledge your concerns, but don’t dwell on things that are beyond your ability to influence or change.

The key is to focus your time and energy on the areas where you have the greatest power. By investing in what you can control and influence, and letting go of what’s outside your reach, you can reduce stress and increase your sense of agency in both your personal and professional life.

The Power of the Circle of Influence

Our Circles of Influence are powerful tools for creating positive change, but only if we approach them intentionally. To begin, ask yourself: How can I use my circles of influence to make a meaningful impact?

Reflect on these questions:

1. How do my circles of influence align with my personal and professional goals?

2. Who are the key individuals in my circles of influence, and how can I engage with them?

3. What values and beliefs do I share with those in my circles of influence?

By reflecting on these questions, we can better understand how to navigate and expand our influence in ways that support our aspirations.

Final Takeaway: Manage Your Energy Wisely

Where you focus your time, and energy makes all the difference. By spending less time on things beyond your control and more time on areas where you can make a difference, you will not only conserve energy but also create more positive outcomes in your life and the lives of others.